Blood Suckers

For those of you who genuinely hate blood-thirsty pests, more commonly known as mosquitos will appreciate this story. I will not go into what started this mess to begin with, because, well, that's a whole other blog entirely. So, lets just say, I was really stressed out on a beautiful Thursday afternoon! Hard to believe that a simple phone call could desinegrate my entire attitude for the day but, nonetheless, I was pissed and needed an escape. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will realize how much I like to fish. It is a great sport that allows me to mindlessly cast my worries and problems out into the middle of a lake while enjoying the scenery and allowing myself to get caught up in the excitement of a biting fish. A nice little excursion for me that is close and can be accomplished in an afternoon. I race home after work and pack all, well almost all of the necessities for an early evening of fishing! The one most single important thing, that I will find out later, was bug spray that did not make it into my car! I throw my cell phone in the glove box, pretty much punishing it for the news I received and determined that I was not going to let my night get any worse by answering the phone again. Hummed my way up the pass to the closest lake, Dumont Lake. It sits, nestled below Rabbit Ears Pass, a really beautiful setting! Knowing that the air gets colder in the mountains, I put long pants on and a long sleeve shirt as I was not going to let coldness ruin my short vacation. Upon arrival, I jump out of my rig and high tail it to the lake shore a mere 100 yard walk with all my gear. I no longer set my bags and poles down, when I detected a buzzing. I look around and notice that yes, there are quite a few mosquitos hanging around my little vacation destination. Bummer, no spray! But, hey, I have long pants and a good shirt. Maybe my feet, adourned in Keen boat shoes, my hands and face will be the only areas affected by these little pests. I continue on, afterall, I am not going to let stupid bugs further ruin my day. So I cast, slap, reel-in, slap, slap. Cast out again, slap, slap and shake my legs because I notice I am collecting quite a flock of bugs on my pant legs. Slap, curse, slap! Slap, slap, reel in a little trout, slap, cast out again. Slap, shake, slap, shake, wiggle my butt because the little buggers are collecting on my posh deriere. Brutal. After an hour and a half, and three fish later, I am tired, mostly from slapping and shaking, and head back to the car. I am eaten up, but at least the stress I was feeling earlier in the day is now overshadowed by the feeling that I have lost 10 pounds of blood via mosquito. Quite sure, I have many bug bites and feeling worm guts under my fingernails, I decide to head straight for the shower after arriving home! Now, as we all know, mosquito poison takes a few hours to materialize under your skin. At least that is my theory. You never really know you have been bitten until the next day or so, when the bite flares up, boil sized, and sends you into such a scratching frenzy that makes you want to take a pocket knife out and actually cut out the infected area. I got up for work the next morning and first noticed my feet. Every inch of space on each foot that had not been covered in Keen material, was red and had a really nice bumpy surface. I ambled into the bathroom, naked and turned in the mirror to inspect the insect damage. If I wasn't so modest, I would post a picture of the half eaten ass that was now my posterior. I had bites on top of bites! The mosquitos must have been mating and decided to have a smoke and a bite of my butt when they were finished! In fact, I think some of them had their babies and then offered my butt up as nourishment for their young. I had so many bites, bruises were forming. Yep, bug hematomas! Thank heavens my face, survived the ordeal!

I guess if there is a lesson to be learned it is this: Always pack bug spray if you are planning to run away from your problems. The things that "bug" you can always swarm up and bite you in the ass if you don't take precautions.

My rear is healing, I am laughing out loud at myself, and the problem that I was so stressed out to begin with paled in comparison to the itchy scratchiness I felt for almost a week!